Lauren Golden: Freeing Mamas By Giving Them It All
Change is happening all around. For reasons I can't quite describe, it stands out to me more this season than it has in recent memory.
Regular season baseball recently concluded, bringing an end to the Kansas City Royals' grueling 162 game stretch. The crispness of autumn has also finally arrived, bringing with it a welcome relief from the unseasonably warm summer. Even my podcast, Rounding the Bases, is navigating change as it transitions to a new, weekly release schedule. There's a reason they say it's the only constant in life.
As a keynote, I embrace change and every new opportunity it presents. New clients, new leadership and even new objectives each present an opportunity to tailor my message to the goals they are trying to achieve. I can't help but find the parallels to a podcast guest I met over the summer, whose interview was recently re-released as one of our best from Season 8.
change
It's true that to get results you've never had before, you have to challenge yourself to something you've never done before. In other words, to be open-minded to change and whatever it may bring your way.
So when this particular guest was confronted with the overwhelm of being a young, working mom, she took unprecedented action to find her freedom. It was a courageous first step that didn't just alter the trajectory of her life, but those of tens of thousands of women around the world, fast-tracking her ascent from savvy businesswoman to entrepreneurial icon.
Lauren Golden is an international bestselling author and award-winning CEO of The Free Mama, a global movement committed to helping 1 million women lead the awesome, guilt-free lives they deserve. She serves inspiration on the daily with dynamic energy and a mega-watt smile, challenging the notion that moms should ever have to choose between family and finance.
She’s living proof that despite what anyone says, it really is possible to have it all. It just might be the beginning of your biggest adventure yet.
SINGLE: COURAGE TO CHANGE
Lauren has been self-employed since 2017, when she left her nine-to-five to take back control of her time, talent and income. She needed more freedom than she would ever get within traditional constraints. It began as freelancing, and evolved into a full-scale movement that teaches other women how to do the same.
She designed The Free Mama to teach women - working mothers specifically - how to define and achieve their own freedom, whatever that may be. "The ripple effects over the last, you know, six years, have been extraordinary," she said of the program.
The financial security it has created for her students' families put husbands in a position to make their own career moves. Kids see a happier, more empowered version of their mom that inspires their own visions of the future. Couples are able to getaway together for the first time in years. The list of positive change she has inspired goes on.
"I might be a spark for these women, but I'm not actually the one influencing their family members...they are," she said of the wide scale impact she is making. "It just shows the impact that taking these courageous steps can really have on your family, and then your community."
And it all has became possible because she made a change.
DOUBLE: THE SECRET TO SUCCESS
Success comes in many different forms. To some, it may be getting to care for their children while still contributing financially, without the guilt of corporate life. To others, it could mean packing your family into an RV and setting out on a cross country adventure with no return date.
The Free Mama allowed Lauren and her family the freedom to do both. What stands out about the skills taught in her program is that it helps other families reach their own goals in a way that is authentic to them. "I happen to be very extroverted and loud and charismatic, but not everyone is like me," she said matter-of-factly. "It doesn't mean that only my personality type can be successful."
By focusing on elemental principles, The Free Mama gives foundational tools that can be customized for any type of person. "The only secret to success is being yourself," Lauren shared. "I give other people permission to show up and be themselves as well."
TRIPLE: THE TIME IS NOW
Lauren is a firm believer that trusting yourself is paramount to hitting your goals. Equally important is self care - and looking out for the important people in your life - during the process.
She implemented a change early in her entrepreneurial journey that has paid dividends ever since, personally and professionally. Simply put, it’s dedicated one-on-one time with her kids, her husband and herself every day. No screens or distractions, just filling everyone’s cup as matter of priority.
“It doesn’t take as long as we think it does in our minds,” she shared. A 30 minute workout is all it takes to refocus her own mind. And 10 minutes with each of her kids creates enough positive energy to earn their cooperation all day long.
“The problem is we usually think we’ll have time later,” she said, before continuing, “You have to make the time first.”
HOME RUN: SEASON OF CHANGE
Every change brings something new to look forward to. In my own life, these seasons are defined by baseball. For working parents, it's often the school year.
The original interview with Lauren was when all three of her young children were home on summer break. "My expectations of myself have gone down. My priorities shift over to my family," she said. "I really look at it as something that's fluid and constantly moving."
There's of course the literal implications of seasonality, but something to be said about it from a figurative perspective as well. Nobody is immune from having their focus pulled to one direction from time to time. So how do we manage it without falling apart?
"Look at it holistically," she told me. "Start small and celebrate the many mini wins."
Listen to the full interview here or tune in to Rounding the Bases every Tuesday, available wherever you get your podcasts.
Learn More About Change from Joel
Book Joel Goldberg for your next corporate event. He draws on over 25 years of experience as a sports broadcaster. In addition, he brings unique perspectives and lessons learned from some of the world’s most successful organizations. Whatever your profession, Joel is the keynote speaker who can help your team achieve a championship state of mind.
Full Transcript
Joel Goldberg 0:02
Welcome into rounding the bases round. Bay says everybody knows Joel Goldberg. Bay says everybody knows Joel Goldberg. Welcome to another episode of rounding the bases presented by community America credit union believe in unbelievable until Goldberg gets the podcast about culture and leadership with a baseball twist mixed in and a shout out to my friends at Chief of Staff Kansas City making connections that matter if you're in the market for a job if you're looking to hire, just looking for a nice resource, give them a shot, just check them out on line chiefofstaffkc.com and making connections that matter. I've got a great connection today, which actually comes via my assistant and executive producer Ashley stir who said I got a great one for you today. And she's never wrong. So I always trust her. And indeed that will be the case. So to get results you've never had before you have to challenge yourself to something you've never done before. So when today's guest was confronted with the overwhelming aspect of being a young working moms, she took unprecedented action to find her freedom. It was courageous first step that altered the trajectory of her life and in turn those of 10s of 1000s of women around the world fast tracking her set from Savvy businesswoman to an entrepreneurial icon. Lauren golden is an international best selling author and award winning CEO of the free mama, a global movement committed to helping 1 million women lead the awesome guilt free lives that they deserve. She serves inspiration on the daily with her dynamic energy and megawatt smile challenging the notion that moms should ever have to choose between family and finance, and is living proof. But despite what anyone says it really is possible. To have it all I'm joined right now by the aforementioned with a big smile on her face. For those that are listening. Just trust me on it. Lauren golden joins the podcast, Lauren, how are you?
Lauren Golden 2:06
I'm fantastic. I am adding megawatt smile to my bio as we speak, that is wonderful. Thank you.
Joel Goldberg 2:14
You taught Ashley Well, or maybe she taught you I don't know, I know the two of you go back to high school. But she says she wouldn't be doing what she's doing finding her freedom and independence, while being a mom and working from home and certainly keeping me running in the right direction. Every single day in my professional life. She's just one of countless stories that you hear. And we'll get into your story in a moment. But I have to imagine, Lauren, that when you hear any one of those stories, that megawatt smile gets even bigger.
Lauren Golden 2:42
You know, it's extremely humbling. Because I can put myself back in to 2017, Lauren, who was already self employed, I was doing it for myself. But I felt this calling on my heart that maybe this wasn't about me, maybe this was something bigger this thing in this world of freelancing that I had stumbled upon, that had brought me so much more financial and time flexibility than I experienced in my previous nine to five job as a working mom. And those ripple effects over the last, you know, six years have been extraordinary. And some of them quite shocking. Obviously, I, you know, put myself in this position of creating an offer and building this business to help impact other women. But what I didn't realize was how many children and husbands I would meet along the way, I've had in person events where people will come up to me and be like, my daughter is on the phone and she just wants to say hi, or I'll get a postcard in the mail from someone's daughter, or they'll post a picture in our Facebook group of their, you know, kid dressed up in a costume saying I'm a free mama typing on their, like cardboard computer. And those are the things that just give me goosebumps because I had absolutely no idea that that would happen. And again, you know, I think for me, it's it is those ripple effects. It's knowing that I might be a spark for these women, but I'm not actually the one influencing their family members. They are and it just shows the impact that that taking these courageous steps can really have on your family and then your community
Joel Goldberg 4:19
when you start to see the the other layers of it too. I mean, I think you so perfectly described it that the kids, the families, the husband's is not just helping out, freeing mama, it's freeing everybody and the benefits that come from it. I would imagine that's not something you could have understood the magnitude of when you started.
Lauren Golden 4:38
I had no idea and you know, of course I love the stories of you know, I was able to replace my my salary working for myself. That was the goal. But when people are telling me they've taken their first vacation with their spouse since their honeymoon and it's been a decade or their spouse was able to quit their job or take a different job that they actually really would enjoy but maybe You paid less, and they had the ability to do these things. Because of this, this business that the that the mom, the woman started, it's truly extraordinary. I yeah, I never could have fathom that it would go so broad.
Joel Goldberg 5:15
Okay, let's go, let's go backwards a little bit and then we'll work to where we're at and, and the most amazing freedom for your family coming up by this, I'm going to talk about it, I'll just tease it and say it involves an RV and No, no ending date, moment, which just sounds incredible. But let's go back to what I'll call maybe pre free, Lauren, what it looked like back then
Lauren Golden 5:39
I was stressed, I didn't sleep a lot, I grew up with an entrepreneurial dad and a stay at home mom. So I had two extraordinary influences in my life of both hard work and building something and creating something on your own, and also being incredibly present and available to your children. And when I got pregnant with my oldest daughter, who's now 11, I didn't really know how to reconcile those two things, because I found them in two different parents. And just because of where we were in life, you know, I was young, and my husband was, you know, we just we didn't have the financial means to do that. And so I became a working mom, not really by choice, but by necessity. And it was okay for a while I actually realized I love working, I love to produce, I love to make money, I love to use my brain in that way. And so I made peace with this idea that, you know, maybe I wasn't designed to be a stay at home mom. And that's, that's good. That's okay, we're not all the same. But by the time my son was born two years later, so they're they're exactly, they're four days shy of two years apart. I felt like a complete failure everywhere. I felt like I was, when I was at work, I wanted to be at home. When I was at home, I felt guilty that I wasn't doing as much as at work, I spent a lot of time crying. And the reality of kind of that nine to five job with a commute was that I really only had about two hours a day with my children. And at that point, I realized, I'm not going to last doing this, this is not going to work for me and for my life. And that's kind of when I got this hunger of I'm gonna have to figure out something else. And I tried a lot of different business models, I tried the network marketing thing I tried, you know, if you've I joke, if you've ever Googled how to make money from home, you get all the spammy stuff. And I've tried all of that. And for me, it was freelancing, which if you're not familiar, it's being a service provider, but doing it as an independent contractor. And so I started as a social media manager, a lot of women in my community started as a virtual assistant. Because the barrier for entry is really low. You don't need a degree, you don't need any certifications, you need to know how to solve a problem for an entrepreneur. And I'm a problem solver by nature. So I dove in, and there's a whole lot of two years of me getting enough courage to quit my job. But that was really the catalyst was how do I find a way to work and make money, but not when someone else tells me where I have to be in at what time? How can I do this on my own terms, and freelancing happened to be the solution that worked out really well, for me and for a lot of other people.
Joel Goldberg 8:10
Well, I mean, you're ahead of the curve, too, right? I mean, because not your business at this point. But the thought of going out and freelancing. We, as a society, had always been boxed into you take this traditional job, pre gig economy type of stuff, right? And this is how you do it. And in the old days, you stay there forever to and you don't like it, whatever you're providing for your family and suck it up. And now, really, you can do almost anything that you want. I'm curious how much that perspective changed for so many of your clients to as the pandemic hit, when there were no other choices? And people started to understand that Wait a minute. I do have options.
Lauren Golden 8:54
Yeah, the last three years have been fascinating. So immediately after the pandemic, everybody became my ideal client, because everyone was in this position, where they had to figure out how to be home with their children, you know, unless you were a nurse or a doctor or kind of one of those people that was still having to go out and be on the front line and really serve in that capacity. You were faced with figuring out what to do with your children who were now no longer going to school. We had a lot of layoffs during this time. We had a lot of shake up in kind of that traditional job space of learning how to do remote work in different companies responded different ways as the years went on, in terms of what they would continue to allow or not, and being called back to the workplace and to get you know, so we had the great resignation. We also had a lot of people laid off so early 2020 When the pandemic hit, those first six months were like a boom I mean, my everything went out, you know, revenue went up, eyeballs on my videos, my content, just everything was extraordinary because the demand was so high since then, as the economy has kind of gone bought and rattled, though, it's been really interesting, because we know that women are the primary decision makers of how money is spent in home and inside the home, regardless of whether or not they're the primary earner. They're really the ones making the decisions about, you know, what they're going to invest in food for their family activities, they're kind of controlling the budget. And so that's been really interesting to see, you know, how people are either wanting to leave their career, now people are kind of keeping those dollars closer. They're, they're hesitant to invest. And so it's been a really interesting three years. And what we also have to keep in mind, in my industry is that, yes, the pandemic changed the workplace, the economy has also changed. But technology has also extraordinarily changed over the last three years, you can't not hear about AI and every single industry. And so there's lots of questions about is AI going to take over people's jobs replacing freelancers? Or is it a new opportunity for freelancers to come in and really understand how to use these tools and leverage them for companies. So it's, you know, I don't, all I know, is the internet, I've always had an online based business. But I just feel like when I compare it to other industries, it moves at warp speed. And we can either use this to a disadvantage and feel frustrated of like, I don't ever feel caught up. Or we can come in and look at it kind of as an opportunity of, you're never behind, you're never behind and getting started in an online business, because it changes so rapidly. So as long as you have that willingness to learn and be adaptive, there's a place for you,
Joel Goldberg 11:35
adaptability is the key to all of this, right? I mean, and I would say that that's probably true in any industry, some are gonna move a lot slower than others, some are gonna move quick. But in your industry, if you are not adapting by the day, then someone's gonna pass you by, right?
Lauren Golden 11:51
Yes, and no, I think there can be a lot of scarcity in terms of how quick you're moving. You know, when we look at things like social media, there is this kind of, there can be this sense of, I have to show up every day and be consistent and everyday turns into five times a day, and it can start to really consume your life. And there's plenty of online entrepreneurs who are going to teach you to do just that. I'm a little bit of a opposition to most things, because my brand and my business is constantly holding me accountable to my belief system, which is that you can have both, you know, I've built a seven figure business working four hours a day. And could I have made more money if I worked more? Yeah, probably, you know, but I choose not to do those things. I choose to practice what I preach. And so you know, if I can show up five times a week, be visible online, and then you can too, so yes, you have to be adaptable, you have to be willing to change. And I like to think of let's move with intention, rather than, you know, pivoting with the wind, so to speak.
Joel Goldberg 12:56
Right, there's a there's a balancing act to all of it. And I think I want to go back to something because I think there's this perception because we're so inundated with junk mail and spam. Whether that is work, whether that's diets, everybody wants the quick fix, not everybody, by the way. I mean, some people are willing to go about it the right way. You have figured out how to be efficient how to make this work without the magic pill, so to speak, and less and less I'm not understand I don't think that you're saying to everybody, here's the magic pill going on. Your life's gonna change. I mean, it takes it takes some foresight, it takes direction it takes, I would think some uniqueness and individuality. There's not a one size fits all for any of this. But there's a lane for to write. But I think there's so many people that want to chase, whatever that lose 50 pounds in a month, shot, pill, whatever it is, how is this different? So I know that it is.
Lauren Golden 13:56
Yeah, this is interesting. This is actually almost verbatim what my husband and I talked about when we walk our dogs every afternoon. I actually spoke about this a lot at my free mama live event this year as well, is this idea of this convenience culture. We want to be we have been just conditioned, let's be as comfortable as possible. Let's make things as convenient as possible. We're having family photos taken on Friday because my sister and her kids are in town. And I ordered three polos at about eight o'clock last night and they were delivered to my front porch at 415 this morning. That is insanity. Amazon like let's take a deep breath, you know? So no, it's starting a business is not a get rich quick. It's not it's not a you know, it's not that magic pill at all. And also, I'm a big fan of working smarter, not harder, which means don't reinvent the wheel. The reason that I created my program was so that women didn't have to reinvent the wheel in terms of how do I network effectively. How do I get my LLC What does it look like to have health insurance when you're self employed? You know, what do I need to do to understand these platforms online? Not from a tactical level? Because yes, the tactics change rapidly. But from a strategic approach, strategies don't change that quickly. And principles hardly changed at all. So that's really the place that I like to teach from is that understanding of why are we doing what we do? Why is tick tock so effective now, even though nobody was really talking about it a few years ago, why did YouTube now launch shorts in response to tick tock and to try to get those, you know, short term, form video is really fascinating right now, because our attention span has gone down. But it doesn't mean that people aren't still watching regular YouTube videos, for example. So I like to get into really the strategy with people so that people don't have to start from scratch, it's how do I compress the time that it's going to take, but it's not going to go overnight. And then as far as kind of that one size fits all, you know, my personally, personal belief system is that the only secret to success is being yourself, I, you know, kind of have already expressed on on here, but I shared with you privately as well. You know, I look at myself as the spark, if I can be vulnerable, if I can share my lows and my losers, the same way I share with my wins, I give other people permission to show up and be themselves as well. And that's really how I model my life and how I model my whole company. You know, nobody, you can't do one size fits all, because if you're listening to this, and you're like, oh my gosh, that's kind of interesting, I'm gonna go Google Lauren golden, or I'm gonna go check out the free mama. But then as soon as you go to market your business, you think you've got to have this crazy big smile and flash your arms and do whatever, but that's not your personality, you're toast, it's never gonna work, because everybody's gonna see through you. You know, I happen to be very extroverted and loud and charismatic, but not everybody is like me. But it doesn't mean that only my personality type can be successful. There's a lot of different ways to be successful. But it's about owning yourself trusting yourself. And then using these strategies and tools to go build a business that works for you and your goals and your family.
Joel Goldberg 17:14
There's so much on on your website, explaining all of it the free mama.com book, which is incredibly done, too. And all the testimonials and quotes and numbers, I mean, 14,891 Total clients served over $22 million in revenue generated and, and a lot of inspiring quotes. The one that stands out to me, is the person I've become as someone I never thought I could be. And I'm sure that a large chunk of your students clients feel that way. But that kind of describes you to out imagined, doesn't it?
Lauren Golden 17:48
Absolutely. I am hardly the first person to say this, but don't know who to quote. But starting a business is the greatest personal development course you can ever take in your life. putting yourself out there in a way where you're the boss and air quotes of you're not just of your business, but of your life, you're really taking the reigns and having the courage not to fit in the mold, and not just to you know, have the boss and do those things. Not that there's anything wrong with it, there's definitely a certain risk that you have to have to to live this type of life. But it's it's, it molds you you know, taking courageous action, and putting yourself out there requires you to really dig deep and it does, it changes who you are. And I look at it kind of like a muscle. It's really not that different than working out. You know, I was not a natural risk taker. I actually quit my job. I was already freelancing. I was making a couple $1,000 a month. But I was terrified to leave that to me was like, even though it's what I wanted, back in 2014 15 That to me was the scariest riskiest thing ever. And for me, it wasn't until I actually suffered a miscarriage. I, you know, it was the lowest of lows. And I literally heard this like voice of like, what are you going to do next? Like, you can't control everything? Like, are you going to keep doing this thing that's making you unhappy? Or are you going to go for it, whether it works or whether it doesn't. And I think that's been one of my biggest lessons, Joel over the last seven, eight years, is when we can detach from the results. Like when we can not let the success or the failure like define us or make us who we are when we can detach and just enjoy the ride. Enjoy the journey. Have fun with it, like be playful and know that there's other options. You know, it's not Do or die. It's just it's life. Like Let's lighten up a little bit. You know, for me, that's been one of my greatest lessons over the last seven years of like, none of these things define me, you know, but the more risks that I take, the more I learned that I am someone who follows through I am someone who's going to achieve these goals. You Because I keep proving it to myself over and over again, and then it gets easier. So now I would define myself as a pretty risky person.
Joel Goldberg 20:07
Yeah, not, you know, not easy to get there. And now it's your it's your comfort zone. Right? It's it's part of who, who you are I, I was wondering, as I was thinking about all this to what it means to have a community, you have built something, not locally, not nationally, internationally. And I'm curious how deep you get into that, and how much that feels like family to you.
Lauren Golden 20:33
Extremely, I would even say, for a while I was more myself with the free mama community than a lot of people I knew in real life, because I really kind of stepped into myself through this business. You know, in a lot of stages of my life, whether it was high school or being in a sorority in college, you know, I was trying to fit in, I was trying to be who I thought the world wanted me to be who I thought my friend group needed me to be a boyfriend wanted me to whatever those things like, I think we all kind of go through that. And I really found me inside of this community. To me communities, everything, you know, yes, my company is called the free mama. But what I've built is the free mama movement and our hubs, so to speak online, as in a free Facebook group. So anybody can sign up to join that group. But it's a place of safety. We run that group very strictly, you know, there is there's no selling, there's no coming in and attacking people. There's we don't really tolerate negativity, not to say that life doesn't get hard. But we come in with an attitude of what are we going to do about it? How are we going to heal? Or how are we going to solve this problem? It's not for complaining, you know, it's not for venting, it is for solutions. It's for growth. But we we really have created this safe place. And something that I think one of my biggest distinguishing factors that I think sets me apart from a lot of online entrepreneurs, is that I have created a place where even non buyers have a seat at the table. There are plenty of business owners who will serve their customers. Well, I serve my non customers. Well, I serve everybody. Well, everybody who believes in our mission of not having to choose between family and financial stability, will find a home inside of the free mama. So to me, it's it's everything. And the byproduct tends to be more customers and more referrals because people feel safe and they feel heard. And they don't just feel like they're a transaction or $1 sign.
Joel Goldberg 22:32
Or here's, here's the question I have for you. This comes from will say free, Papa.
Lauren Golden 22:38
That's actually a thing. I've got a t shirt. I should send you one. Yeah, I
Joel Goldberg 22:42
need that. But you know, a t shirt. I was being a little I was being a little cutesy with it. But and I'm not necessarily looking for advice for me. But I think I'm wired like a lot of people and this will be true for the mamas out there too, that you end up with your hands and so many things. Now, I'm not looking for the four hour workweek the four hour workday, or how many what was it? Four Hour?
Lauren Golden 23:06
A day? No. Yeah,
Joel Goldberg 23:08
so So about 20 hours a week, right? The days of working 16 hours are over. I did all that my early years of TV. But between baseball season, at least for six months a year. And it's not like I'm ignoring my business in terms of my speaking and the podcasting that's heavier during the offseason, but I'm still busy. Look at me right now. Right? I'll go into the ballpark later. We're doing this conversation right now. How do you find the balance, because I think that's what so many of us are looking for. We hear often about work life, family, you know, and all of that. You got to take care of yourself, you got to work out you want to spend time with the family, you want to do this, you want to do that. I know you figured out a way to automate some of this, to be able to take care of all of it. But how do you instruct I'm not necessarily talking about the Papas or anybody finding that healthy balance?
Lauren Golden 24:03
Yeah, well, I definitely have a lot of tools inside of my programs that I teach for kind of the day to day, how do I know what to work on when but I'm gonna go a little bit bigger picture because that's how I approach it in my own life. I am very realistic about my goals. And I don't mean that that means I set small goals, it means that if I were to work 12 hours a day, I'd probably hit him sooner, right? For me, it's not a matter of if it's when, when I set a goal, I know that I'm going to achieve it. Again, this comes from seven years of proving that to myself. So we've got to start small and celebrate what we call in the free moment many, many wins. We have free mama win every Friday and it's like what are those small, consistent actions that build up over time to hitting your big goal? But for me in terms of balance, I look at it holistically. I don't look at each day, you know, did I work four hours a day did I spend four hours with my kids did I know I look bigger picture and I'm very cognizant that there are differences Reasons. Right now it's summer, my kids are home, I'm working less now than I do when they're in school. Meaning kind of my expectations of myself have gone down my my, my goals in terms of whether that's revenue or new production for the summer, it goes down, my priorities shift over to my family. And so I really look at it as something that's fluid, and it's constantly moving. I'm really big something I teach all the time. This is if I could just implant this in everybody. I believe that the success to any relationship boils down to communication expectations and boundaries. So with my kids, for example, I just heard them get home. I don't know if you heard him get home, because I texted my husband communication. And I said, I'm going to be on an interview, by the time you guys get back in my boundary, right? My expectation, and my boundary is I need you to keep everybody quiet. I'll let you know as soon as I'm done. So it revolves around a lot of that this is what I need today. You know, what are you doing tomorrow? Tomorrow, I have an interview, I have this, I have this, here's what I need from you husband. and I were in a peculiar situation where we're both self employed. So it is a lot of give and take, you know, my revenue was crazy and 2020, when when everybody needed to learn how to freelance and work from home, and my husband actually stayed home that summer, like he was pretty much a full time dad. Right now he runs a Google Ads agency, he is crushing it like he is he is kind of now up. And so he is spending a lot more time on business. And I'm taking over a lot more of the responsibilities with the kids and at home. And so we have these different seasons. And so my biggest advice is look at it holistically, don't beat yourself up on a daily basis of like, you know, was everything perfect. And then two more other quick things that I think are really helpful. I actually just taught both of these inside my community this past week since moms are in this season of summer. Number one, I give myself what I need first. And that is a total, typical, put your oxygen mask on before you help others kind of analogy. But like we get up and I go to the gym, that's what we do in the morning. And I'm not not at five, not before they wake up, I'm not going to self sacrifice to work around my kids. No, we're all going to clock in eight hours asleep. And then I'm going to drag their little behinds with me to childcare. And I'm going to go work out because I know if I do that, I'm going to be nicer to everybody around me for the rest of the day. And I'm not going to have that guilt or resentment. Because I'm going to know like I got taken care of the second thing that happens for all my parents, whether you're a mom or a dad, and I actually learned this tool, jewel from Amy McCready, from positive parenting solutions. She calls it mind, body and soul time. This can be as little as 10 minutes a day per child, but it is one on one time with your kids. One on one, no technology, you're not looking at a phone, you're not worried about what you've got to do next, or getting dinner ready for 10 minutes, they get to pick the activity. So can you imagine, you know, you spend an hour and a half in the morning, filling your cup, filling all of your children's cup, I've got three kids. So that's half an hour is where that came from. And then everybody is feeling good. So when I tell my kids, I need you to be quiet for an hour because I've got to go taking a take a coaching call. Everybody's more cooperative, because we started by filling everybody's cup first. And it seems trivial, but it's not. It's huge. It will make the biggest difference in everybody's life. So it's really it's not even a quality quantity conversation. It's is everybody's needs getting met. And it doesn't take as long as we think it does in our minds. The problem is we usually think we'll have time later. And we don't you have to make time first.
Joel Goldberg 28:47
I'm excited for everybody just to listen to that. Because I think we all can improve in in small, incremental ways, just by thinking about that. Two quick questions before we get to the baseball theme questions. First off, and this is less about time spent and more about enjoyment for you between the community between the book between speaking, were put the family the personal aside, in the slices of pie of enjoyment. Where do you get the most enjoyment? Oh, I don't know. Yeah,
Lauren Golden 29:25
I find enjoyment and most of what I do these days. It took a long time to get here. I think the biggest part of the journey was redefining what success meant to me. I think for the first few years of my business, you know, I was in masterminds, I was surrounded by a lot of other entrepreneurs. And I was really focused on growth. It was revenue, it was more it was pushing and I really I had kind of this life thing happen as it does that made me stop and go wait, but what is success to me right now? What do I want? it right now. And when I really answered that for myself, I changed a lot of my offers in my business. We've changed completely our primary offer business model this year. But I also launched a series of retreats. I have an online business, but I love being with humans in real life. I love to travel. I've literally built offers that help other people around what I enjoy doing. And my time we just got back from Tampa two weeks ago, I get to go to Colorado here in August for another retreat like it, it fills my soul, it brings me a tremendous amount of joy. With my kids, it's almost always the little things, you know, and not it's funny, we practice gratitude, which I think a lot of people try to do, either consistently or not. And I would always harp on my kids, because they go for the obvious stuff. I'd be like, what are you grateful for? And they'd be like, friends, family, and I'm like, no, like, what are you grateful for? In this moment. And for me, again, I mentioned my I've got extended family in town. We were walking to the pool the other day, and my daughter who's six and my niece, who were five, grabbed hands and just sort of walking and holding hands. And I like got my phone out and took a picture and then took like a mental picture of like that, that brings me joy. But I think what happens is we live in this culture, where it's like, hey, we see somebody at the grocery store. And it's Hey, how are you doing? Oh, we're really busy. And we we're this busyness, like a badge of honor. I have like shed all of that I have, I have killed off a lot of offers. In my business. I've simplified, we got rid of the podcasts, we're only focusing on YouTube, Like, I've simplified, I've simplified my life, we're simplifying our home, which I'm sure you're gonna ask me about here in a second. We've simplified the stuff, we've simplified our schedules. And in doing so I'm able to notice and appreciate those gratitude. So I really, you know, if we would have done this interview two years ago, it would have sounded a lot different. But where I'm at right now, I find a lot of joy in most of what I do.
Joel Goldberg 31:58
Alright, let's talk about that simplification. Like, I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I want to do this, but I probably won't do it until like my mid 60s. And you're going to do it in your 30s. Tell me about the journey that is about to begin for your family.
Lauren Golden 32:12
Yeah, so we are leaving in a couple of weeks to RV full time. So we have rented out our house. This is not our first time in an RV, we're on our second RV, we spent the last few summers, I've got an 11 year old, a nine year old, a six year old who have been to 36 states 15 national parks. So we're not brand new to this. We've been doing it for a while. But we are ready to just kind of commit to what I'm calling as unsubscribing we're unsubscribing from you've got to be at school at 8am were unsubscribing. From the nightly practices, we're unsubscribing from the calls that say that you've got to be there this time this day. And we are just going to go live for a while we did one year lease on our house, but they want to buy it so we'll see. So yeah, so we don't know when we're coming back. But like I talked about earlier, I think I have so much peace around this. And this is coming from a former super high achiever type a wound type kind of lady who's done a lot of yoga for the last two years, which has helped. But I'm really excited. I'm excited to purge the stuff. I'm excited to slow down even more, I'm excited to educate my kids in a non traditional way with the world as our classroom. I'm excited for some of that quality time as a family and a little bit more disconnection and it will be an adventure. And because I'm not worried anymore, I say anymore. Because this used to be my greatest fear about what other people think about me, and I'm not attached to any sort of outcome. We could be back in three months. I mean, we really could we could go and it could be like, this was the craziest idea ever. And we did it. And now we know that we can't do this. And I have peace around that. Or we could go and not return. I don't know. But we don't even really talk about it anytime my husband's like so what if we went and I'm like, oh, no, I'm not talking about a year from now. I have no idea who I'll be by then. So it's just a different level of freedom that we're gonna go play with for a while.
Joel Goldberg 34:18
I love it. So cool. So exciting. I'll have another question and like quick YouTube wrap up on the trip. But let me hit the baseball theme quite well through these quickly. What what to this point now there's been a lot what's the biggest Hold on?
Lauren Golden 34:32
I would still say my book. I have plans to write a couple more while we're on our RV trip. But for me, there's something about knowing that you have published the written word that feels more legacy to me than anything else. And just to know that I'm leaving a part of me that will will live on a part of me my belief system, my philosophy, my teachings. it's to me it's one of the most special things that that I've created.
Joel Goldberg 35:00
Yeah, writing a book is I don't know what it's like to give birth to a child, you could speak to that. But when that book came into the world, for me, it was like, whoa, this, this came from me. So it's very personal. Yeah. A swing and a miss, and what did you learn from it?
Lauren Golden 35:17
I've had a lot, I think that's the greatest way to find success is to swing and miss. But one of the ones that kind of makes me laugh, is I tried to launch physical products. I know nothing about e commerce. And it was one of those lessons where it was like I needed to either stay in my lane, which is service based or digital products, or outsource it 100% entirely, rather than trying to learn it. It was a big swing. And I mean, it flopped. Really bad. So we still have swag, but we just give it away. And now it's like, okay, but in our membership, here's a t shirt like, Yeah, I know nothing about e commerce. So yeah, stay in your lane, stay in your zone of genius, or outsource that completely.
Joel Goldberg 35:59
I love it. All right. And the last one small ball, what are the little things that add up to big results for you?
Lauren Golden 36:04
Yeah, for me, when when I think about that, I think it has to do with fulfillment. And what I mean by that is not my personal fulfillment, but client fulfillment. So making people feel seen and special, making them feel heard. The bar is real low. In business, if you have been to a business, if you've gone to a restaurant or gone anywhere, I just feel like that customer service bar has just dropped over time. And giving somebody that quality experience, whether it's just a postcard in the mail, or a quick voice memo, or the free T shirt, or whatever that is, I think that's something that my company does really, really well, that makes people feel seen and heard and cared about. So I think how you fulfill to your clients, how you handle that customer service, or the things that they're purchasing from you. It's not difficult, it's usually the little things, but to me, it adds up to really big results.
Joel Goldberg 36:59
All good stuff. For anyone that is interested. I think probably the free mama.com website is the best place to start, I would imagine right?
Lauren Golden 37:08
Yeah. And again, you know, we've got that free open Facebook group. I'm in there every single day answering questions. It's my favorite place to hang out. So if you want to connect with me directly, you can find me in there.
Joel Goldberg 37:18
So that one just go online. Search for free mom, I guess or
Lauren Golden 37:25
you can go to facebook.com/groups/the Free mama movement or search on an event on Facebook.
Joel Goldberg 37:32
The movement is everywhere around the world. I've got a few minutes of wrap up questions on YouTube, including this journey around the country wherever it may be. We don't even know all the specifics yet I'd assume. But I hope that everybody will join us on YouTube for for final questions as we round the bases. Lauren, congrats on all the success safe travels on the journey can't wait to see and hear about it. I know you'll continue to impact so many lives. Thanks for spending time on none of the bases. Thanks Joe. Welcome back to rounding the bases extra innings Joel Goldberg Lauren golden hope that you will check out the audio version of this podcast learn all about free mama the free mama movement, the free mama.com great episode with Lauren. So for final questions as we round the bases you talked in the interview about getting ready to go out in RV for maybe the year maybe less, maybe more renting out the home, who knows what happens where where it'll go where it will go, Where do you want to go in terms of states because I understand you bend to 4550 So I guess that means Yeah, sure. No, you got five you got to check off the list right?
Lauren Golden 38:43
Yes, North Dakota, Michigan, Delaware, Vermont, and something else up there and Man What a fail maybe that was five Rhode Island. Rhode Island Yeah, we got
Joel Goldberg 38:58
a weird like mix of you know, like mine are more normal. I've been to Alaska. I haven't been Idaho. I haven't been to South Dakota Minot North Dakota. I haven't been
Lauren Golden 39:07
Rushmore. We went to Mount Rushmore first summer in the RV. Yeah, so we got those five we got ahead but yeah, all we know is that we are going to Colorado August 1 through 21st Because we have it booked and we will be in San Diego in November because I have a retreat there and we would like to spend a winter month in Florida so that is the game plan rough draft and then it's fill in the blank from there
Joel Goldberg 39:35
I love it. Second questions around the bases it's good to have you know an executive producer and assistant that learned under you because it means I've got all the good research which this all has to be right so on my list it says your practices handstands daily Yeah
,Lauren Golden 39:51
so i When my family we moved during COVID. So we lived in Texas for about five years moved back to Kansas City, which is where I grew up in Where my oldest two kiddos were born. We moved back in November of 2020 schools were still closed. Everybody was wearing face masks. My husband I didn't make a friend for like a year it was just hard times. And so I we we go to lifetime gym we didn't Texas as well. And I was like I had no chill Joel I was stressed. And so I started taking yoga, and just got really into it. I now go about five times a week typically. And it has become kind of my jam. And but I'm a former competitive dancer. So I have kind of this competitive spirit. I don't just go to Zen. I like the Zen but I've always got to be striving. So you know, we started with the headset I'd like look around the room at the yogi's who had been there for a while, and I'd always find like new tricks to come home and practice. And I am still currently obsessing over the handstand and how long I can hold it. I would like to be able to walk and a handstand. We're still growing. So yes, I have a handstand wall pillar in my kitchen and my family is so used to it now they don't even look at me while I do
Joel Goldberg 41:03
that just bomb doing a handstand again. For questions as we run the bases, I've been lucky enough. This is good research here again, too. I've been lucky enough with my wife to go see Jimmy Fallon Tonight Show twice the first time we went. The main guest was Blake Lively. Nice. I understand that. That would be like a dream of yours for like someone to go to lunch with or whatever they like lively.
Lauren Golden 41:25
Okay, there is some research that was done here. I think I said that in an online interview.
Joel Goldberg 41:30
He digs deep, right? Yes, she
Lauren Golden 41:32
does. I know exactly the interview she found this firm. So shout out to Ashley. I what I like about Blake Lively is that I think that she is funny. When she puts herself out there it seems to be like genuinely her personality. I don't know her personally. But she is also an entrepreneur in addition to an actress. She's a philanthropist, and she's a mom. So I just feel like we'd have like a good vibe. So Blake, this is the second time this is online. Please send me a DM on Instagram.
Joel Goldberg 42:01
Or come on. Fourth one, and I'm gonna get you out of here as we round the bases to walk off question. I know this isn't anything you could have ever dreamt of. I still never know is it? gifs or GIFs? I think it's gifts, right?
Lauren Golden 42:11
I think I say GIF.
Joel Goldberg 42:12
I say gift too. Yeah. Like now you're in like a bunch of them?
Lauren Golden 42:19
Yeah. I think that might be you know, they all they say that everybody is like has a percentage of narcissism in them. I think whatever my percentage of narcissistic behavior is, it came out in my gifts. But I think it's the dynamic smile maybe or whatever. She said, I'm very charismatic. I have a big personality, a lot of energy. And I noticed myself in my group, because again, I'm very active in my group, and I was looking for the same gifts over and over and over again, I'm always searching the same thing. So I literally set up my camera on a tripod one day up against just a blank wall. And I said all those things that I always do or like the big expressions I do, I think I did like 15 of them and then I created an account on giffy.com I think I have like over millions of you I'd have to go double check. I have all these uses. But um, all people will like forward me an email that some stranger that I don't even know like, who has an email list and they like used my gift for like, people will send a screenshot from like another Facebook group. They'll be like, is this you? And? Yes, so yes, that was I had an ego day where I was like, man, if I'm gonna be commenting on all these people, I might as well be the one saying it. So I did build it for my own use, but it has ripple effects. Like all of our work, I guess as entrepreneurs, I
Joel Goldberg 43:41
don't think anybody is gonna see narcissism in creativity, fashion, no doubt about it. Check out the free mama.com Check it out on Facebook as well. And I hope everybody listen to the audio version of our interview Lauren, again, thank you so much safe travels to you, your husband and your kids can't wait to hear about this trip and and of course all the lives that you'll continue to impact and influence as well. Thanks for spending time.
Lauren Golden 44:08
Thank you. Thanks for having me, Joel.